It took almost one year for her to not be afraid when I came out of my home that she wouldn't run off. She would rub up against my leg and would let me pet her.
I have seen her through four litters of babies and her losing them to the harshness of the world.
On Friday, June 23rd, she went into labor and when I went outside to feed her, I could see that she wasn't OK. that she was in pain.
I could also see that her water had broken. I looked underneath her and could see that a very small tail was coming out.. I knew that it wasn't good.. that something was very wrong...
I called two veterinarians to no avail, and without help, the only place that was left that would help was the "animal shelter,"
I was crying saying,"WHY ME??WHY TODAY?? ON THE DAY THAT IT WAS NINE WEEKS FROM MY LOSING MY SWEET TOBY!!"
I had worked at the animal shelter for five years and I know what they do with those that have no one .. I didn't have any place to turn that would help me....
I had to make that call....while waiting I had to put a net over her as i knew that when they would get there, she would run away even in her pain she would try to get away..
When I put the net over her, she began to panic and it was very hard for me to see her this way, so scared...
The shelter came and told me that I could call Saturday to see what happend to her...
I was crying as I felt so angry.. that I could find NO ONE to help, But the shelter!!!
I have NOTHING against the shelter. Its just I know what they do to feral cats ... and she was that..
I did call Saturday and was told that she had to be put down as the babies were trapped inside her and there was NOTHING they could do...
I am so very lost and so very alone... I know in my head that I did the right thing, but in my HEART, that is so very different.. I don't want to hurt anymore.....
I just don't know what to do anymore...
Jessy
Rustysgoldensong has sent a magnificent tribute to her angel dogs, Toby and Bandit. Please take a moment to visit her beautifully written memorial poem.
6 comments:
So sorry to hear this! But sounds like she was in a lot of pain. The pain is gone now, as is the cruelness of the world. The world can be cruel at times, but thankful for people like you that care! God Bless you!
Blessings,
Sugar
My Beloved Furr Babies (link on side bar)
How very hard it was for you to have to make this decision. But perhaps because you were the one who loved her and gave her a chance at life that it was most appropriate that you were the one to help her in her agony and to go home to Jesus and all the others before her where she is with all of her kittens and looking down on you now. God bless you for your courage and may God help ease your heart. I love you , Anne
Jessy...I am so sorry for your lost...I don't know what to say, knowing that you most resently lost Toby.
I understand very well you frustration and hopelessness. I am truely sorry for your pain.
God Bless you and hold you close, for you are a true angel among us pet lovers.
Always here,, HUGS
Aurora
I am so very sorry, I just want to hug you now.
My heart goes out to you as I can totally relate to your sorrow. When I first moved into my house five years ago there was a little feral calico that would hang around my front yard. She would run away any time she thought you were approaching her. We started leaving food out for her and it took maybe a year or so before she stopped running away. We could not touch her but she tolerated our presence. Then she showed up big and fat one day with kittens. They did not survive. Soon she was pregnant again and this time we trapped her and made a comfy spot for her in our garage. She gave us four beautiful, healthy kittens that we placed in good homes. When she recovered from having babies we had her spade with the intention of turning her lose. She had other plans. She never left my yard after that and she was the most affectionate cat to us. Sadly 2 months ago she just suddenly passed away. I guess the years on the streets had finally cought up with her. It is just not the same here without her always near me and watching everything I would do outside. I think we can take comfort in the fact that we gave them all our love (something no one else took the time to do) and they knew they were loved. Please know you did the only thing you could and the best thing for her. It was a total act of unselfishness and love. You did what was right even though it tore your heart out. I'm sure your unselfishness will not go unrewarded. God Bless you.
i feel your pain as if it was my own. i've been there done that.
please know that that beautiful baby is up in heaven with all her babies
and is waiting for you to join them
there will be other kitties that will need your help and you'll be able to help
them then. just email me for help if you want.even just to talk
may God grant you peace.
katdiva53@aol.com
Post a Comment