"My Brave Soldier"
I write this to the music of "Josh Groban," as I can't find the words that are in my heart. I am 45 years old. As a child, I was abused, so all I had in my life was a dog!! One that you could tell your most inner deep secrets to, and not be scared that you would be punished for telling.
When Toby and his brother, Bandit came into my life it was to help my sweet Rusty, as my vet had told me to get another as we had just lost Duke, of 9 years, and Rusty was in a deep depression.
So came along at the age of 8 weeks was these bundle of bouncing fun of pups.
Time went on and I lost Rusty, a "Golden," at the age of 15. Time was good to you both, then on August, 9th, 2004, Bandit gets sick, with no warning.
I was coming off of the news from my vet, that my dog,"Joey" had mass cell cancer,
On August,19th, 2004 I lost my sweet Bandit to cancer. Time went on, and your ashes came home.
In Feb, 2005 I saw something on Toby's body, that just didn't look like it belonged. Appointment was made and the vet took some of it and sent it off. The call came that it was a form of skin Cancer. that because of his age, now 13, it wouldn't be OK to put him (through surgery ), and the cost of $5,000 with NO banking that he would be cancer free.
On April 12, Toby turned 14..Three days later he didn't look OK and wasn't eating. I Called the vet as the weekend was coming and I didn't want to be facing a weekend when the vet wouldn't be able to be reached. On Friday the appointment was made for 2:20-pm. At 9-35 am, Toby went into a seizure, and I rushed him to the vet, driving 60+mph to get him there with my emergency flashers on. People did move over for me.
X-rays were taken. Dr. Hayes came in, told me that the cancer had gone into his chest, the silence then was one that I knew the answer to, that my sweet Toby was dying and I had to make that decision.. had to let him go.
As they gave me time, I took the holy water I had and I blessed him. I told him to not fight, to see his brother..to see Jesus..to let go.
As I finish this, I do so to the song "You're Still You," as a young pup. Hewould sit here next to me and listen to it as he loved that song and the other one that he loves is "To Where You Are."
He cried out as his heart stopped. He just as his brother, died in my arms, and now he too has come home as I got his ashes this week.
I was his mama on earth, and I had to release him to Jesus' mama, to be there for him.
I know that he and his brother are the puppies they once were and that they will be at the Rainbow Bridge when I, too, will go home to Jesus.
I have no friends, just my fur babies. I long to see and hold them again....for they are "Still You"....
Jessy
Photo of Toby two days before he died.
And My Angel Bandit:
Note for Jessy: To Toby and Bandit- From Jo
Rest sweetly at the Rainbow Bridge darling angel dogs! Go in Peace and find loads of love and friendship till your mom rejoins you when it is time!
Jessy has created a beautiful memorial garden for her Angels. I wanted to share this amazing picture with everyone. Memorial Gardens are an exceptionally loving area to create to memorialize angel pets. This one is extraordinary. Thank you Jessy.
Jo
9 comments:
God bless you dear, as I read your entry I thought of my beloved fur babies who have passed over to the Rainbow Bridge. I have no doubt I will see them again someday!
Come visit me when you want, my thoughts & prayers are with you!
Blessings,
SUGAR
OH MY!!!
I have tears running down my face after reading this - it's beautiful!
You know you have a LOT of friends Jessy - if you need us, we're here! :)
Thank You Jessy for sharing with us and thanks to 'Jo' for the wonderful job you've done puting it in - GOD Bless You!
Terry
I too have lost the most precious thing in my life. Tasha 13 y/o poodle who loved everyone unconditionally. She was " daddy's girl"................My heart goes out to you as so many do not realize the importance of our pets . Their love (our pets) are like God's love, ALWAYS THEIR FOR US. May you find peace in knowing that Toby & Bandit are in a much better place enjoying one anothers comfort and knowing you'll be their to join them one day.
God Bless,
Bud Roberts, Olympia WA
What beautiful angels. Thank you for sharing. I haven't been able to bring myself to get another dog after loosing my Boston Terrier, Muggsi. She was a special little girl and didn't deserve to die at the jaws of the neighbor's dogs.
Your words are beautiful and well put. I know the sadness you feel. Thanks again for sharing.
Hello Jessy, I know that you are going through a lot of pain, I have been there several times. You never forget these precious fur babies, but time does help to heal. I have found that it helps to find other fur babies that need a home, it will not take the place of Bandit or Toby, but I am sure that they would not want you to grieve all of the time. I hope that you find peace, just take it one day at the time, do let yourself grieve, but I hope that you can find other babies that need you and a good home.
I'm so sorry, I cried when I read this. Just beautiful dogs. I have a 4 year old that is so spoiled. Once again I'm so sorry.
JESSY,
My heart is breaking with yours once again, You know how much we all care about you & I hope as each day passes..The pain & anguish will fade some. Your memorial to your fur-babies is awesome!
We are all here for you anytime you need, I have lost so many & I do know the pain you are feeling right now. Hang in there & know that you have many friends.
I will pray that your heart will mend soon.
Your forever friend Lisa
I'm sitting here crying because I know what you are going thru. I keep saying I'm not getting anymore dogs but I always do. God Bless.
You did a beautiful job with the story about your life with your fur babies. All my love and support go into this journal for you. If you reach out I know you will find some more friends, human and fur babies. Make some room for them because I can tell you have a very loveing heart to be shared with everyone. Don't let yourself be lonely it is not a good thing. I admire your religious beliefs so at least you have taken the Lord in your heart because he is the best friend you can have, look who brought your babies to you, him. I too have lost a few babies and I am still lonely for all of the the most recent Lucy and all I want to do is hold her one more time in my arms and smell her cute little head close to me. But she is always in my heart and I know she will welcome your babies to the bridge. All my love Christina Lucero.
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